2 Years, and a baby on the way (2/3 through 1st trimester)

It's been two years since Matt and I met and our lives were forever changed :)
For those needing an awesome recap, see my very first blogpost about Matt and how we met in the Cascade Lakes Relay. This was our very first photo taken together; unfortunately I was too shy to insist standing next to Matt when they started shifting people around by height to fill in the photo better. Also I didn't want to seem to stalker-ish. And I ALMOST (the words almost came out of my mouth) asked him to have someone take a pic of us... but I was too shy. But I guess I wasn't too bad because a few minutes later, he asked if he could call me; I said "I'd like that." (I thought it sounded classier than just "yes" because it also shows that I really want him to; he still teases me about it). And later that night, after getting dinner together and sitting in his car talking for hours, I wasn't too shy to give him "kiss me" eyes... and thus, my very favorite first kiss, and my last (I actually remember thinking "wow, if this is my last first kiss, this is going to be amazing!").

It's hard to believe how much has changed, and for the better. These have been the best two years I've lived so far (albeit they've had their own challenges, of course). But every day I am so grateful that Matt ran into my life! I can't believe my luck! Over the course of getting to know him, I have discovered some eerie personality similarities to my dad (how did that happen that I picked a guy like my dad?!), but at least I know all about an entire beautiful fall Saturday spent watching at least 3 different football games, and how some nights plans get rushed so that we can catch the start of the game (thankfully we finally got a DVR though). But he is absolutely the sweetest, most considerate and kind, fun-loving, calming, gentle yet strong, sexy, supportive and athletic guy possessing more sports-knowledge than I could ever want to explore ;) And he says the kindest things, and helps remind me to be my better self. (When I was dealing with a tough situation, he told me "listen to your heart and do what it says. You want to be sure you're approaching this lovingly." Wow, and here I was feeling like being petty). I am endlessly blessed to be his wife.

So... this weekend Matt bought a canoe and we packed it with camping gear (it actually held up) and set... canoeing... on Sparks Lake, which has to be about the most popular canoeing lake in the area. After a bit of paddling around, we found a decent enough spot, unpacked, setup our new tent... then Matt went wandering around and found a BETTER spot. So we packed up, got back in the canoe, and reset up camp. But it was worth the move as the second spot was SO much better- great view, private(ish), but difficult approach. In fact... poor Matt actually fell in while trying to unpack us, and nearly risked ruining his new iPhone.

 

But the view was awesome.

We made a campfire and watched the stars.

Apparently Ellie is terrified of fires so she hid in the tent most of the time, poor wimpy thing. So Zoey enjoyed the solo attention.

My app guy played with his Planets app, which only somewhat accurately shows you were constellations are.

We did a very brief dip of swimming, given that this is snowmelt. Here's me pretending like I'm already showing (cause, um, honestly this is a little more flattering pushing it out than it looks when I try to suck it in right now).

One night was just about right for me though. Matt just bought us a sun-shower deal so maybe a second night would seem more appealing. Our blow-up mattress is just really uncomfortable though.

Zoey loved being in the canoe but she insisted on being on the bow, which there isn't one so I had to keep piling things up that she could stand on.

 

Well, I've made it 2/3s through the first trimester (not hard to do when I didn't know til 4 weeks). I'm excited for the next trimester when apparently I won't feel as tired, and I'll get to see the baby and start showing. All the fun stuff then. Plus, the chance of miscarriage drops from 15% to like 2% so that'll be a relief.

At 8 weeks, webbed fingers and toes are poking out from baby's hands and feet, eyelids practically cover the eyes, breathing tubes extend from the throat to the branches of the developing lungs, and the "tail" is just about gone. In baby's brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. Baby is about the size of kidney bean now, and is constantly moving and shifting. It's pretty amazing how fast a human is created (yet, honestly, right now it feels very slow).

Other than fatigue, I'm feeling pretty good. I haven't had any nausea. My digestive system is, um, sometimes struggling and uncomfortable but generally I feel good. And the fatigue isn't as bad, most of the time, as I expected when my doctor said I'd feel like I'd been hit by a bus. Not too irritable though my fuse is definitely shorter. Oh, and when I get hungry... okay, I'm just as psycho as before. The other day, I was so tired and hot and hungry by 5pm (I think I forgot to eat an afternoon snack) and Matt was going to eat leftover pizza for dinner... which I was trying not to eat because I'm trying to eat healthier. So, being all hormonal, I pitched a little fit about having to eat healthy and I didn't WANT a salad for dinner cause I had that for lunch, as I took out the block of swiss cheese and just took a bite straight out of it. I just needed something quick but cutting a slice sounded way too time consuming. Matt just laughed. Thankfully he's patient.

We have our Baby Pick'em designed and I'll post that next. Good stuff! Otherwise, I need to finish my baby quilt I've been working (slowly) on since January and I have a lot of reading I should do, about pregnancy, what to expect, etc.

The Cascade Lakes Relay is this weekend, and only Matt is running it :( I probably could've done it, but since we found out, I haven't been running, just in case. I wasn't sure if it's a big deal or not. I'm not supposed to get fatigued when exercising and it's just been so hot outside so running sounds like it'd be too much. So I dropped off our team, even though I only had 3 three-mile legs (but the first one would have been in the hottest part of the day). Matt's bummed because at first our team said I could drive his van, now they say it'll be too cramped. So I'm staying home with the dogs. He already wasn't looking forward to it but I'd talked him into it for his 5th year (he gets a special t-shirt for running each year of the race's existence). This might be his last though. I can't imagine myself wanting or trying to run it next year with a 4-month old baby (esp since I plan to breastfeed); and the race is 30 hours from start to finish for our team so we do have to run in the night, etc. Too much. Anyhow, I'll be wishing Matt luck, and maybe trekking out in the night with a pizza delivery :)

Enjoying the Summer

It seems to take awhile before it really feels like summer in Central Oregon, but it finally feels like we're in the midst of it. Our garden and vegetables are coming right along; we haven't really harvested anything except rhurbarb, which is going crazy this year (finally! Not that I like rhurbarb all that much).

Last weekend, we had quite the eventful time. Friday, Matt was in a golf tournament of one of his customer's. I had considered playing too, but given this would be my first game of golf, I didn't really want to spend $80 to look like an idiot in front of a lot of people. Maybe I'd do it for $30. So Matt talked them into letting me drive the cart, which I did very well, thank you. That was fun, except I had my first touch of "morning sickness," I guess; I felt a little hungover all morning. Fun. Matt did pretty well with his team and it did make me want to give it a swing, sometime.

The next morning we drove with my parents to my Aunt Kathy's wedding in Cottage Grove. It was a beautiful day and a lovely ceremony in their yard. Par for the course, I cried. They seem very happy together and the whole thing was just very sweet. Yay for love!

On Sunday, we took our time getting home. The men did some shooting then wanted to stop at Cabella's on the way home. While in the mall, we discovered a batting cage, which, naturally, they had to try. Two peas, I swear.

Then, Sunday night, because apparently my parents have a very busy summer schedule and this is the only time they could fit us in, we took Mom and Dad on a starlight canoe tour with Wanderlust Tours. Okay, so, I'm sure we could've rented our own canoes, being locals. But from where? And where would we go? And how would we transport them there? And when would we actually ever get around to doing it? A few years ago, I took my friend Jen Lippy on this tour when she was in town and we had a blast. I always wanted to take my mom on it so as a belated birthday gift, and belated father's day gift, we did this tour.

They took us to Sparks Lake at sunset and we paddled around as the sun went down. Bats were swooping to catch bugs. The stars all came out. It was chilly (high 30's) but it was beautiful. Dad acted a little... tired... at first but I think he eventually enjoyed it. At one point, we stopped on a little beach and made a campfire and had hot chocolate; that helped the shivers. The guide was pretty good too, WAY too soft-spoken/quiet but he had a lot of interesting geographical and biological information. It ended up being a late night, but it was fun. It only strengthened Matt's desire to buy a canoe though ;)

Mt Bachelor at sunset

 

Broken Top

 

South Sister

This week, we had our first OB appointment, or rather an appointment with her nurse to receive a bunch of information (most of which we already knew) and to give a bunch of medical history (most of which I'd already written down on the form they asked us to fill out prior to our appointment but then obviously didn't read). And I had a bunch of blood drawn for tests. Pretty uneventful. Matt was disappointed because he was hoping we'd get to hear the heartbeat. Guess that's next time when it's a bit stronger.

Our official due date is March 10, 2013. Not that this matters too much as apparently only something like 20% of women give birth on the due date. We want to start a sex/due date pick-em soon. We won't know the sex until between Weeks 18-22 when the genitals can be seen on an ultrasound, which will be late October during our appointment in Week 20, I think.

We also found out, which I hadn't exactly realized, that the OB's clinic rotates who is on call and, according to the nurse, there's a 30% chance that our OB will be on call when I'm in labor and will deliver our baby. So likely it will be one of the other five OBs in the clinic, who I may or may not meet. Which is fine with me as long as the person honors my birthplan, assuming that it's medically safe and possible, and doesn't push to toward unnecessary procedures. I'd be more inclined to seek out a midwife, and I think there are some in town that have facilities so it's not a home birth, but it doesn't look like our insurance covers midwifery.

Here's what's happening with Baby Heb at 7 weeks: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point. Technically, baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of the tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry. 
Inside the womb, developing are eyelid folds partially covering her eyes, which already have some color, as well as the tip of the nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of baby's brain are growing, and the liver is churning out red blood cells until bone marrow forms and takes over this role. Baby also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in baby's growing intestines is bulging into the umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from the tiny body.
Pretty adorable pic huh?

We made our first real baby purchase and Matt bought a bassinet from a customer. It looks like it's in nice shape and it's small enough to fit in our already cramped bedroom for the first few weeks or months.

So far, I'm feeling pretty good, just tired. Every other day is hard and tiring. And I'm not sleeping well, partially due to the 5x I have to pee and partially due to... restlessness? I'm not achy but I'm wakeful like I am after I've done a hard workout and my legs are crampy and achy, except I wake up and nothing actually hurts, just a general sense of discomfort, I guess. And it doesn't feel as good to lay on my back, and it definitely feels awful to lay on my stomach. Plus it's tough to quiet my mind. Before we got pregnant, I'd been taking Biotone, which was prescribed by my naturopath, to help me sleep and it was AMAZING! I've never slept so well in years (I've noticed that since my car accident, I don't sleep as soundly, etc, as I did before). So I'm bummed I can't take that anymore, though I did find out I can take melatonin. Still, I've just been trying to keep it pretty natural and not expose baby to any drugs at this important developmental stage if I can stand it. But, every other day, I just feel really tired, like I'm behind on my sleep, but then it's hard to nap. And 12-3pm is a tough time of day to get through, not sure if the summer heat also contributes. I could see though, at this stage, that if you had a reason not to necessarily expect you were pregnant (like friends I've had who got pregnant while on the pill, and I never had my period while on the pill), you might not know you're pregnant. Things are growing, not just internally, (and HURT) but I'm also not exercising much (need to get better at that and start walking regularly if I'm not comfortable with the idea of running, although nurse also said it was probably fine in moderation). It just feels like I'm getting chubby and tired. I don't have any sense of the baby so it still feels really surreal, like playing house, to say I'm pregnant. Although, in my opinion (because I am noticing some changes in my body), I definitely look a little different, but as I said, mostly just like I'm getting chubby :(

At the end of the week, I went to my office for two days for a bunch of meetings, which was great to see everyone. Of course, it also spurred me starting to think more seriously about work life, etc, after baby is here and what we'll do and what's realistic and what we can afford. Not the fun part of the process. But more on that later.

For now, Matt found a cheap canoe on Craigslist and we're going to FINALLY go camping! First time for me in a few years at least. So it's to the great outdoors for us!!

A Meal Fit for a Baby, and other things this week

 My dear friends Jesse and Adam were the first to give us baby gifts-- these way too cute onesies, an option for girl, boy or either...which, incidentally, it's tough to find non-gendered outfits; it must be hard if you want to wait to find out the sex but still want to buy some baby stuff. Also it's challenging because I'm not sure I want such gendered clothes for my baby, especially if it's a girl. The girl clothes are so cute but I wasn't into pink or super girly-girl stuff so I have a hard time imagining buying something along those lines. Still, this pink number with the whales makes me hope we're having a girl just so we can dress her in it.


Tonight's dinner was a mixed greens and kale salad topped with grilled chicken, cucumber, carrots, blueberries, raspberries and strawberries. It was awesome (seriously, it was photo worthy it was so good). Matt ate every bite, so it had to be delicious (or he was just starving, or both). Truly a meal fit for a baby... even one just the size of a lentil. So far (in the last 2wks) I've found that the belief that now that I'm pregnant I can eat anything is anything but true. Partially this is because I realize at this point my baby is only about 1/4 inch big and doesn't have much caloric needs so maybe I'll feel differently about it once I'm actually showing, or feel baby kicking, etc. Thus right now, I don't want to pack on a bunch of lazy weight because I have somewhat of an excuse (only to have to try to lose it later when I'm tired and have an infant).

But the other part is all these baby books/materials I'm reading that point out the importance of eating healthy for the development of my baby. According to babycenter.com: This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears -- an oversize head with dark spots where baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. Baby's emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and arms and legs by protruding buds. Baby's heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through the body. Intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to lungs has appeared. The pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of the brain, muscles, and bones... Baby is the size of a lentil. (Note the pink lentil on my finger in this picture... it's not something gross as Matt originally thought when he saw the pic. And in case you can't tell, baby's doubled in size since last week.)

Knowing that everything I eat and drink is directly contributing to this developing person adds this whole sense of responsibility (and guilt even when I'm trying to drink decaf coffee now), especially since the first trimester is the most critical for development. Well that just makes me feel awful eating 1/2 cup of ice cream. That's not going to help baby's eyes and brain develop!! And geez, I am drinking water like it's going out of style. But then... it's also been hot. So at least we're eating healthy, maybe even healthier now than when I knew I was pregnant. And incidentally we made this Key West Grilled Chicken with Mango Salsa and "Cauliflower Rice" by my new fav food blogger- AMAZING! I'm serious, you have to try it. Do it. Thank me later.

In the past week, aside from baby blooming internally, outside our plants are exploding in the yard. Super exciting! Matt created a new garden bed too on the side of the fountain area where he's growing radishes, squash and tomatoes. We're looking forward to (hopefully soon!) enjoying the fruits of his labor.

So, in being cautious, which I'm not really sure how cautious to be, as I mentioned last week, I'm a little hesitant to run, especially as hot as it's been. My primary care physician said I'd probably be fine with whatever level of running I'm used to (which, sadly, isn't much) but I'm feeling a bit cautious of fatiguing myself or overheating. So far I've just been walking. This week, I think I'll drag myself to the gym though and at least do the elliptical and see if I can convince myself to EVER do weights (I hear light weights are good for pregnant women). But Matt's been running; can you spy him in this picture, running along the river?

Also this week, my dear friend Jen Lipscomb was in town for her brother's wedding so I got to hike around Smith Rock with her and her boyfriend, and enjoy some Deschutes Brewery for dinner! It's always wonderful to see her :)

And tomorrow I take my Certified Meeting Professional exam that I've been studying for since Feb. On my practice tests I'm scoring 78-83% so I've decided that's good enough to pass. I'm done studying. I feel like my brain is too full of too many mundane details to take more at this time (How many servers do you need for 100 60' tables? How do you calculate the break-even number of registrations needed for an event? What is the role of the Convention Visitors Bureau? Who needs to receive copies of the Event Specifications Guide? What are the steps in risk management planning? What is the purpose of a contract rider for an entertainer? How do you do introductions following proper etiquette? What is the main provision of the Sarbanes-Oxley Act? What are the different education formats?). I've been doing an online study course that had pre and post tests with structured reading assignments (over the three books I had to read), so that was helpful but it's just so much semi-useless information, at least for my current position. The only thing I've used in my actual job, which my client asked literally the morning after I'd just studied it, was how many people we could fit into a certain sized space with classroom style seating (assuming standard 18" wide x 6' tables). Still, if work will pay for it, I might as well take it. It hopefully will lead to something good... a raise, resume builder, more notoriety, ya know. It's only 150 questions but bleh, I'm looking forward to it being behind me. It was a nice distraction for the last few months, I guess.


I was hoping to not feel much pregnancy-related until after I took this test. Looks like I succeeded there. Aside from knowing I'm pregnant (and certain things being sore), I wouldn't know I'm pregnant. I've been a little tired but it's also been so much hotter the last two weeks than it had been. It's finally summer here!! And I've had a lot on my mind.

On YouTube, I watched the documentary "The Business of Being Born" and, although I was skeptical that it would have much of an effect on me, I must say it did. I don't think our insurance covers midwives or home birth (and I don't think I really want a home birth, nor does Matt) but it really made me feel more strongly about my desire to go for a natural birth. I want to experience it in all its pain and glory. At least I say that now, and I understand that will depend on more immediate medical factors ultimately. Things to consider...

Sesame seed baby -- 5 weeks

Week 5 and baby is the size of a sesame seed.

From babycenter.com:
Baby is now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his/her organs and tissues.
The neural tube — from which baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his/her skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.
His/her heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his/her tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.
The third layer, or endoderm, will house his/her lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to baby, are already on the job.

I haven't noticed any new symptoms yet (except, on a unrelated note, I tweaked something in my neck yesterday and it's been killing me the last two days. And although I can take Tylenol, I'm trying to be as natural as possible in this first trimester).

I'm working on improving my diet (switching to decaf coffee wasn't hard until today) and drinking LOTS of water.

My physician said I could continue exercising at my current level as tolerated and not to fatigue, but Matt and I decided it was best if I find a replacement for my spot on our Cascade Lakes Relay team (it would've been my 3rd year in this race-- the race in which Matt & I met in 2010. Now he has to do it without me :( but it'll be his 5th year!). I intentionally picked easy 3-mile legs (three total) in case I got pregnant, or failed to amp up my training. Hopefully that'll make it seem enticing to someone who will join last minute. I ran for the first time on Saturday on my favorite trail, but I decided to just take it REALLY easy just in case. It was in the 90's that afternoon so I walked up all the hills. Slowest run ever, I ran an average of 11:30/mile. Geez. Baby better appreciate that ;) My legs were a bit sore since I've barely done anything in weeks, what with all my travel earlier, but it still felt great on the heart and lungs. I told Matt that I'm sure Baby enjoyed the run too.

Matt's really enjoying the babycenter app on our iPhones that gives lots of pregnancy tips and a checklist. He's being super supportive and seeing how excited and involved he is gives me confidence :)

We have our first OB appointment on July 24th, which seems like forever away. I'm hoping they at least let us hear the baby's heartbeat.

Good News!! And How Not to Tell My Husband

Well, as everyone knows, Matt and I have been trying to conceive for awhile. Since August 2011 to be exact. And everyone gave us the advice to not stress, to just enjoy our time together... which of course we did enjoy our time together and we (I) did try not to stress... And we were reminded that the average couple can try for up to a year without success. For some reason, I figured that once we thought we were ready, it would just happen for us. Then it didn't. Each month.

And every month, I thought I was okay with it... until I got my period and would cry and spend the next several days feeling blue. And I'd start feeling anxious thinking about all the couples I knew who had tried for two years, three years, or weren't going to be successful at all. Would that be us? I didn't see that for us but they probably didn't see that for themselves either. (And I would actually be more open to adoption than in vitro or other procedures... but I still hoped to have at least one biological child, to get to experience pregnancy and childbirth at least once).

And I wrote about this a few times in this blog:
http://heberlingadventures.blogspot.com/2011/09/and-then-i-went-and-stressed-anyhow.html

http://heberlingadventures.blogspot.com/2012/02/constantly-waiting.html

http://heberlingadventures.blogspot.com/2012/03/waiting-game.html

I'd even started making a baby alphabet quilt:
http://heberlingadventures.blogspot.com/2012/04/baby-quilt-for-my-someday-child.html

Some months seemed like the perfect time to find out too... Thanksgiving, Christmas, just before Valentine's Day, after our beach getaway, my brother's graduation weekend, our 1 year anniversary. How sweet would that have been?! I even thought of an adorable way to tell Matt the news, and I could've gotten by without getting him an anniversary gift since I had NO idea what to get him and he claimed all he wanted was a cake.

(Incidentally, we had a very nice anniversary. We went to dinner at Greg's Grill, which has AMAZING steak and a great view of the river. I ordered Matt a little cake, which he thoroughly enjoyed. And he gave me diamond earrings... though I teased him because on our first birthday together, he gave me diamond earrings and told me they were the "3-month girlfriend" size (foot in the mouth, right?!). Well our 1-year anniversary earrings are the same size, though he pointed out (correctly) that the 1-year earrings are much nicer quality. And also that these could be traded in/upgraded in the future (so I joked that now he has all my future anniversary gifts figured out) And... unfortunately, I lost one of the 3-month earrings on a work trip so it was perfect anyhow...)

In hindsight, and I made sure to tell Matt this on our anniversary, I'm glad we didn't get pregnant right away. I had always thought I'd want at least a year of marriage before kids. You'd think being that Matt and I hadn't even known each other a year before we got married, we'd want even more time. In fact, we've now officially been married more than half the time we've known each other. But truly, I am happy that we got to have the time to really enjoy being newlyweds. (One of my friends got pregnant after just a month or so of marriage, and initially I felt pretty jealous that we'd been trying since before her wedding yet she got pregnant right away... but in truth, I did want the time with just Matt when the focus was on just us.)

In the meantime, I started seeing a naturopath (in April), who is the same person a friend of mine saw (and now she's pregnant after three years of trying with multiple miscarriages). Since insurance covers a bit of that, I figured it was worth a try and at least I'd feel like I was taking some power and action. She put me on three different naturopathic vitamins (plus one to help me sleep, which was WONDERFUL) and did acupuncture just before I was supposed to ovulate (which felt exactly as I imagined it would feel). The first month of that, nothing. The second month, we missed scheduling the acupuncture in time but I kept taking vitamins, and nothing. In June, she did another acupuncture treatment, prescribed me to also eat certain seeds on certain days of the month (flax & pumpkin before ovulation, sunflower & sesame after), and prescribed me this moxibustion treatment that I was supposed to continue doing all month (essentially burning these small wicks over my uterus to stimulate bloodflow).

The latter of these is what both Matt and I were the most skeptical of, as you might guess. He berated me for buying into it (hey, I figured it was worth a shot, and unlike the cost of the vitamins, the little box was only $15). But I wondered how exactly I was supposed to keep this up all month long when on June 17, I was supposed to be leaving for a 10-day worktrip to two different cities (Minneapolis and San Diego) and would be sharing a room with a coworker for the last week. Yeh I'm not going to be lying around in our shared hotel room doing this woo-woo stuff. But I'd at least try it while I could, and keep taking the vitamins, and eating the ground seeds, for one more month and re-evaluate how I felt about it at my next month's appointment in July.

So here we were entering our 11th month of trying in June (though because my cycles aren't 30 days, we'd had 12 cycles). I had been tracking some things in "What to Expect Before You're Expecting" book that had 12 monthly charts. When we weren't successful in June, I had finished the last available chart, after which the book essentially says something like "Well, it's been a year and you're still not pregnant. Sucks for you. There's probably something wrong with you. Better see your doctor." So, irritated, I put the book on my bookcase and vowed not to track or care much til the end of the summer. Our health insurance covers 0% infertility testing and treatment, and one person I'd already heard about charges almost $300 just for the consultation. Matt and I were starting to have the conversations about how long we'd try before we'd do testing. I figured we could go at least through August (13 months since I'd stopped taking the pill). And this month, in June, just after (or just when) I ovulated, I was supposed to be leaving for this 10-day worktrip-- talk about bad timing. So I'd just decided, well it probably won't happen this month but that's okay. I'm going to enjoy my sexy husband, lose the 10-15 lbs I've put on since our wedding, eat fresh veggies and fruits all summer, run in the sun, try paddleboarding with my friend Konnie, save money & refinance our house, go camping and live it up. (So maybe this is the "finally giving up on it" that I THOUGHT I'd already done, but that people kept telling me that they did just before they got pregnant). In a way, I was glad I wasn't pregnant yet.

So I left for the worktrip I'd been dreading since they asked me to go on a back-to-back trip months ago. Ohh AND TSA searched my checked bag and took out my naturopathic vitamins and didn't put them back. Awesome. Thanks. So that's like $50 I'm going to have to try to recover from them. Saw a friend in Minneapolis from Teach For America. Did the usual work stuff. Flew to San Diego (which is one of my fav cities to visit). Went to a Padres/Mariners game with my coworkers. Decided that I didn't care about being as careful this month and that if I wanted some wine with dinner when I was out with my friends/colleagues, then I'd have some wine. And, for being a worktrip, I actually didn't feel as tired as usual, even with our 12-14 hour workdays, and I ate dinner every night with people and had a nice time. Had some awesome dinners and I'd decided that I would eat healthy enough on the trip but really, really get into my healthy eating when I got home. So it was fun in a way. But ohhh I couldn't wait to get home. Nothing makes me appreciate the luxury of being able to just hang out watching crappy tv with Matt than going on a worktrip. I even caught myself turning on SportsCenter in my hotel room because I missed the sound of it.

Monday, July 2- I was home from my trip and expecting my period any day (actually based on the last month, I expected it the day before). I didn't feel moody (which is usually a tipoff of my period coming, but not always) but I did feel a slight cramp-i-ness and some tenderness elsewhere (also tipoffs) and I figured I must have a longer cycle this month because travel must've pushed back my ovulation. ** For those new to this, there are two parts to a woman's cycle -- before she ovulates and after -- and the 2nd part is generally the same length every month, but the 1st part can alter based on stress/life factors.

I'd already decided I probably wasn't getting pregnant in June -- there was my worktrip that probably messed it all up, plus TSA had taken my vitamins that I was supposed to take (and it was the last of my bottle of them), plus I had a feeling that July would be the month, PLUS if I was pregnant, I'd be due March 10, 2013 based on my calculations, which is the start of the conference for which I have a very large leadership role in my office, and it's pretty much my biggest project and the busiest time of the year for my job. Basically the most inconvenient date in the whole year for me to be having a baby.

But for some reason later that afternoon I thought "I'm pregnant. I should just take a test." Now I'd tried to stop taking tests because even when I got a negative result, I still had hope that maybe it was just too soon for the hormones to be showing, so instead of putting my "Am I getting my period or not?" questions to ease, they just kept them going. But... here I was a day late (unless my cycle was long again, which I went through one month when it was 3-days longer than usual -- 30 days instead of 27 -- which as you can imagine had me thinking I was pregnant, and then was very disappointing... then each month after my cycle was one day shorter than that). But I decided to chance it and take a test. I was resolved to not being upset if it was negative.

And the test came back with two lines = pregnant, albeit the "pregnant" line was a bit faint. Still, I'd never seen two lines before. I had a feeling of both "wow, I KNEW it!" and "wow, really?!?! Am I misreading this? Do I actually see two lines?" So... an hour later, just to be sure, I took another test. I mean, I had been drinking a lot of water before the first one. Second test = two lines, now with the line darker than before. Whoa! Could it be??? I tried to schedule a doctor's appointment but she wasn't available for a few days. So, just to be even more sure (or manic, however you want to put it), I took one more test just before Matt got home from work. Third test = two lines, now with the line darker than the last.

I thought I had devised a pretty cute way to tell Matt that we are pregnant. Originally I thought I'd give him a photo of me holding a positive pregnancy test (as opposed to giving him the actual pee stick) but I couldn't get my camera far enough away so I just took a picture of the test. I painted a little frame with our expected due month -- March 2013. I thought it was pretty obvious. Also I thought we could update the picture in the frame. (Note the shake-y lines I painted... I was too excited/nervous to tell him/etc...)

Apparently, this was not obvious.

I wrapped it up and when Matt got home, handed him the bag and started recording:

I was expecting more of a reaction... I sorta hoped since I hadn't cried, at least he would. But he just stared and smiled and looked a little... shocked? confused? I stopped recording.

Turns out, he wasn't sure what he was looking at and hadn't read it yet (and apparently forgot what time of the month it was). He thought I was showing him an ovulation test (trying to say I was ovulating as my way to get him into bed right away) and that if we were successful, then we'd have a March baby.

Off-camera, I explained that it was a positive pregnancy test and that I believed we'd have a March baby, but we'd see the doctor on Thursday. Then hit record again:

Okay, a little more of a reaction with the sorta awkward-laugh. I think it took awhile for the idea to sink in for both of us.

And at 4 weeks, nothing yet to show but a positive test.

And as of today, July 5, my primary care physician also says I'M PREGNANT!

I'm a little nervous telling people so early (but knowing Matt, he's too excited to hold it in for long), but that's just from fear of an early miscarriage. Or a "false positive" result (though my dr. confirmed it!). And that most women I knew announced it much later than 4 weeks. But... this is us. And we are pregnant!