Cooking Adventures, and baby's heartbeat (recorded)

This week, we had an O.B. appointment; nothing too monumental, I guess everything must look good. I've gained about 1-2 lbs so far, which is appropriate. We did get to hear the heartbeat again, and now so do you!

(I took some editing liberty with the video quality since it's only sound we care about. You'll hear our O.B. say "yeh" in response to Matt's question if that's the heartbeat.) It's surprising how low the baby actually is. The top of my uterus is apparently only halfway between my belly button and my pubic bone.

We booked our ultrasound for October 18! So if you haven't made your pick for the sex and due date of the baby, DO IT by Oct 17: Matt & Gretchens Baby Pick'Em. There's a 97% chance that we'll be able to find out the sex of the baby.

Week 16: get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, baby will double in weight and add inches to length. Right now, baby's the size of a large avocado: 4.5 inches long (head to rump) and 3.5 ounces. Legs are much more developed, head is more erect than it has been, and eyes have moved closer to the front of the head. Ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of the scalp has begun. Baby's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, baby's heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as baby continues to develop. 

This week started off with my cooking adventures. Inspired by various freezer meal sites, I decided to try preparing some frozen meals for our dining pleasure later in the month. After a lot of grocery shopping, since we were low on virtually everything anyhow, I set out Sunday night to try to make a few freezer meals. I found out: 1- wow, it IS time consuming; I spent about 2.5 hrs and only made about six meals (though for us, each of those is probably two meals), 2- it's really hard when I only partially wrote down which recipes I wanted to make and didn't have a way on my grocery list app (Grocery IQ, and it's great) which recipes the items were for, and 3- I have a new appreciation for the people who do this once a month to make 30+ meals.

For those curious, here are some of the links I browsed:

• http://lifeasmom.com 
• http://pregnant.livejournal.com 
• http://jamiecooksitup.net
• http://onceamonthmom.com 
• http://www.skinnytaste.coml 
• http://lovingmynest.com 
• http://mamaandbabylove.blogspot.com
• http://www.myrecipes.com
• http://smithlive.blogspot.com 
• http://www.rachaelraymag.com 

I only ended up making two 8x8 chicken stuffing bakes, one chicken spinach lasagna rollup with the leftover lasagna noodles I had, one Mexican stuffed shells with the rest of the ground beef I had, and two chicken enchilada casseroles (my own modified recipe below).

Chicken Enchilada Casserole
- cooked chicken, cubed (1-2 large breasts?)
- 1 can of black beans
- corn (I used frozen... maybe a cup?)
- frozen spinach (maybe 1/2 cup?)
- 1 cup cooked brown rice
- 1 can enchilada sauce
- corn tortillas (probably 8 or less)
- shredded cheese (probably 1 cup?)

Pour a little enchilada sauce in bottom of casserole dish. Dip corn tortillas in enchilada sauce and layer tortillas on bottom of dish. Top this layer with half the chicken, beans, corn, spinach and rice and 1/3 of the cheese. Top with another layer of enchilada-soaked tortillas; I try to press it down a little. Layer with rest of chicken, beans, corn, spinach and rice and another 1/3 of cheese. Top with another layer of enchilada-soaked tortillas; press it down a little. Pour rest of enchilada sauce. Top with rest of cheese. Bake at about 350'F for 30mins or until cheese is bubbly and just a little brown. Since the chicken and the rice are already cooked, you're just trying to thoroughly heat.

At the end of it, I'm a bit exhausted, wondering what the heck I bought all the rest of the groceries to make, and wondering how this would ever save someone time and money. I'm also bummed because I thought we'd bought a pork shoulder so I could make pulled pork, but found in the fridge a pork sirloin tip roast (what the??).

Last night, we tried the chicken stuffing bake. Matt liked it; I thought it was just okay. I didn't add enough chicken to it (tried just putting 2-3 breasts at the bottom, as much as could fit frozen) so it was a lot of just stuffing. Oh well. At least it saved us from cooking last night...

Book Recommendations to Remember

I'd posted: Think I need a book recommendation. I tend to go classics over modern. I just want to read something beautiful, like I felt about "East of Eden" or Didion's essays or "Endless Love." And not something tragic ("The Kite-runner" was too much for me). Just beautiful.

Here are some of the recommendations I received:

• The River Why
• The Brothers K
• Tom Robbins
• The Book Thief
• The Secret Life of Bees
• The Help
• The Time Traveler's Wife
• The 2nd Restatement of Torts
• One, by Richard Bach
• Rainwater, by Sandra Brown
• The Orphan's Tales duology by Catherynne Valente
• A History of Rasselas
• Kate Chopin
• Jhumpa Lahiri
• Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett
• West with the Night, by Beryl Markham (x2)
• The Red Tent
• The Art of Racing in the Rain
• Dovekeepers
• Wild
• Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
• A Soldier of the Great War, by Mark Helprin
• Watership Down 
• Love in the Time of Cholera (which I guess I'll have to try a THIRD time)

Since I had it on my bookshelf, and I read it over 10 years ago but don't remember it, I'm actually starting with Les Misérables, which I remember really loving originally. We'll see how that goes, but I'm really interested in taking on one of these books...

Gonna Miss This?

What a busy week. On the weekend, we celebrated Joe's birthday early by feasting on some good BBQ, and Mom made an amazing red velvet cake (I'm seriously still thinking about it).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Joe and to Susan today (and my college roommate Carrie)!! Zoey also had her 11th birthday this week, and she got her own cake.

This week was #15. I'm starting to show just a bit. I notice it at least. But no one's said anything yet.

Baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces, about the size of an apple. Baby's busy moving amniotic fluid through the nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in the lungs begin to develop. Legs are growing longer than arms now, and baby can move all joints and limbs. Although eyelids are fused shut, baby can sense light. If I shine a flashlight at my tummy, for instance, baby's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for baby to taste at this point, but taste buds are forming.

I should start noticing baby move between weeks 16-20. That'll be exciting; I'm probably looking to that the most about being pregnant.

Just as I think I'm feeling a little more energetic, I feel pretty exhausted again. Especially Monday nights after GOTR coaching; whether or not I'm leading, it just seems to take everything out of me. Tuesday and Wednesday, I had to go to Eugene for a really quick, jam-packed trip to my office to meet with clients. Every moment was filled up but I managed through the day without a nap, and after dinner with clients, still managed to go hang out with Elizabeth (my friend/colleague/boss) and her family who I haven't seen in a bit. But by the time I got home Wednesday evening, I was pretty much just wasted.

I also found out this week, after an 8-week wait, that I failed my Certified Meeting Professional exam. Aside from this being expensive and embarrassing, I also feel really discouraged because I had thought I'd done pretty well on it. I read everything via a study course that I worked on for about 5 months and I studied quite a lot during the week before the exam, including two practice exams on which I thought I'd done well enough. But the study course ended being a bit different than the actual exam. Different organizations but it's the endorsed study course. Still, their practice exams aren't based off the actual exam and I think the questions they asked led me to study things that weren't actually asked on the real exam, whereas I didn't go back and study some other areas because it seemed I had those down well enough. Apparently not. It also sucks because they convert the scores to some scale, so I don't even know how many I got wrong, just how much I missed passing in the scale, and an idea of the general areas in which I did not pass- Risk Management, Site Management and something else. To me, this seems really unhelpful in thinking of how to re-study to take this damn test. Anyhow. It sucks. I'm the first one in my office (of about 4 people working on it) to take the test. I can't tell you the last time I failed a test... maybe 11th grade Adv. Pre-Calc? I'd feel like giving up but I've already spent SO much time studying and so much of my business's money, so now I have to pass. Luckily my boss was supportive. I'm the first one in our office to ever attempt it so he just said I was our guinea pig and to take another stab at it. Hopefully I can take the Nov. exam.

Thursday and Friday, Matt and I drove to Boise for the Boise State vs BYU game. This was another re-creation; we went to Boise to see them play OSU back in 2010 when we were first dating. Look how cute we were back then...

2010

The drive there wasn't too bad (6 hrs); we had nice conversations; I introduced Matt to "This American Life," my fav and only radio program. Two of Matt's good friends, Dave and Ryker, met us there, although they were cheering for BYU. They, and a few bites of Matt's corndog (the hand-dipped kind, seriously!!), were the highlights of the trip because the game was really lack luster. It was 7-0 Boise State til nearly the end of the 4th, to the point I started to root for BYU to score just to make it more interesting. End was 7-6. We had good seats in the endzone (even closer than our 2010 seats) except that we were behind the ONLY people in the whole section who were standing, so we had to stand the entire game. Lemme tell ya, I really notice it now being pregnant; it was tiring. We made the trip home on Friday but the drive seemed soooo much longer. I've decided I wouldn't want to drive cross-country, unless each day was only limited to 3hrs at most.

2012

Today, we went to Bend's Oktoberfest to the Wiener Dog Race, which we've been looking forward to all year. We've even practiced a few times with Ellie. I scream "Ellie B!!" and she sprints to me (usually across a little field). We had great plans for her victory today but alas, she got stage fright. When released from the race box, despite my screaming, she nearly immediately bolted for the side and tried to escape to find Matt. In the video, she's behind the E of Bend and she's the dog who goes straight toward the left then sits by the lady in white shorts/pink top. Bummer. In the coming year, we'll have to practice with more distractions.

I found out this week that our buddy Dave's wife, Lara, is only a few weeks behind us in her pregnancy, AND my friend Christine (who I spent a fair amount of time with when I lived in Eugene) is also only a week or two behind us in her pregnancy. Somehow knowing Christine is also pregnant makes me feel better. I've really been feeling lonely for some women to talk to about my pregnancy lately. I have some recently-new-mom friends and I have seasoned-mom friends, but I don't know anyone else actually first-time-pregnant right now. And I feel a little weird calling my mom-friends, who I always think of as being super busy, and asking what are probably really dumb questions. I'd really like to start taking some prenatal exercise classes if only to meet some other pregnant ladies.

I started thinking this week of that country song "You're Gonna Miss This." It always gets me. The premise of the song is that this woman is always looking forward to the next step (moving out of her parents' house, then having children, then having the children more grown) and her father reminds her that she may not know it now, but she's gonna miss where she is at the present moment and wish the days hadn't gone by so fast. This resonates with me because I do struggle to live in the present, usually looking ahead to the next thing. It can be hard to enjoy where we are now, even as I'm enjoying it. As I was taking a quiet bath, thinking about my growing belly and what was to come for our family, I realized that one day, I'll be taking a bath here and someone scream "MOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!" and that'll be to me, and I'll look back on this peaceful evening and to some degree want it back. But it's hard to know all the things you'll miss before everything has changed in ways you can't predict, or know what you'll miss. But I'm trying to appreciate at least these things that I'm enjoying now:

• having the time (and sorta energy) to volunteer to coach GOTR without feeling any guilt of the time spent
• peaceful baths, and peaceful nights with bedtimes whenever we want
• uninterrupted pre-bed reading or tv viewing or WII playing
• uncensored moments with Matt whenever and wherever
• my pre-baby body (which is already slipping away), though really I'm looking forward to my post-baby body
• a few sexy outfits that I loved wearing as a hot newlywed but wonder if I'll feel the same about wearing as a hot mama
• money that, although we're already trying to save most, is still for our pleasure... money toward my new clothes, not a baby's
• the flexibility in not having to think about dinner until 5pm (to my detriment now, this is changing this week), or in feeling fine about having cereal for dinner
• the ease of leaving the house, or of grocery shopping, or of going to the gym, or really of doing anything at all
• Matt says he'll miss watching all the football he wants, and napping whenever we want

2nd Trimester

We made it to the second trimester! Guess that means we're 1/3 done...

Baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, the facial muscles are getting a workout as tiny features form one expression after another. The kidneys are producing urine, which is released into the amniotic fluid around baby — a process that continues until birth. Baby can grasp, too. In other news: Baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, baby measures 3.5 inches — about the size of a lemon — and weighs 1.5 ounces. The body's growing faster than the head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of the body. (The legs still have some lengthening to do.) Baby's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over the body. Baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and the spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though I can't feel tiny punches and kicks yet, baby's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

Can you believe how big baby is now?! I remember when it was just the size of a poppy seed. Still just looking like I have a little beer gut, but to me it's starting to look a little different, a little rounder and more baby-belly-ish.

So, every time I start feeling like maybe I'm feeling a little better, a little more energetic lately, then I'm struck with exhaustion. But less foods are sounding inedible to me. And I'm having a day or two a week during which I don't need to nap... sorta mostly.  My heartburn and indigestion have been a little better in the last week or so. Anyhow, we'll see how it takes for this "honeymoon" period of pregnancy to get good. Ugh, I know it hasn't been that long but it feels like forever that I've been tired.

Last weekend after a relaxing Saturday of football (3rd place ain't bad this week), I talked Matt into a Sunday drive to the head of the Metolious River. As we headed toward Sisters, we noticed the start of this wildfire north of South Sister. It was only around 150 acres when we first drove by (according to the radio) but doubled by the end of our drive.

Luckily the air quality was still good. Now our car's GPS took us on a CRAZY route toward Camp Sherman, which includes many miles on dirt roads and a lot of suggestions to basically take horse trails, as if they were actual roads.

 So, these next two pics aren't actually ours; we didn't do a good job of taking pics outside the car. But the river starts from what looks the side of a hill, out of nowhere. And about ten feet later, as you look downstream, it's already wide and looks deep. Matt had never seen it so I thought it was at least going once. Okay, actually it's not much more exciting in person than these pics but it was something to do.

This week I started coaching Girls On The Run again, 5th season! It's 3rd-5th grade girls (20 of them this time!) and we teach some life/healthy habits/self-esteem/team-building lessons as we train for a 5k (that's 3.1 miles). Our "workouts" are really more game-like; after all, these are 10 year olds. Our focus is on healthy living/establishing a routine of exercise/working toward a goal to be proud of. It's 0% competitive and the girls often walk. They're just encouraged to keep moving. Anyhow, it's fun. The girls are really cute and sweet and say hilarious and sometimes incredibly bright things. And it's totally exhausting. I'm so glad we have four coaches this time. Usually just the two head coaches would give the lessons, two days a week, and any other coaches were just there to help keep things smooth, but this season we're all going to share leading, so while that means we each get to lead less, it means we each get a chance. And it's super tiring to lead for me. No wonder I didn't like teaching.

Also this week, we went to our first and only concert of the summer- Huey Lewis and the News! Wow I didn't realize how many songs I like, so many childhood flashbacks from the 80s. Joe is in town visiting so he came with us. It certainly is fall; it was quite chilly as the sun went down. And look how far back our cheap, grass seating seats were; the sound quality was not as good that far back as when Joe and I got closer.

Joe & I got lucky and snuck past the guard at the reserved seating area; we got right up to the stage. Huey practically fist pumped us. That close, that loud, he sounded amazing. But based on the video I took on the sly... ehhh, there are a few notes he can't hit any more.

On Friday, Dad, Mom, Joe and I went for a little hike to Benham Falls. It was an amazingly warm and beautiful day. Though the wildfire is still blazing, it wasn't as smokey (wow, up to 15,000 acres).

 

 

Yes! Fall!!

Ahh, fall, my fav season. I feel like I should love summer best. I don't. It's autumn I love, the season of my birth. I love everything about fall- the cool evenings, leaves changing colors, pumpkin anything, getting to wear jeans and sweaters again, the start of school and the memories of how exciting that always was (esp cross country running starting), Halloween coming, Thanksgiving coming... AND this year, the start of my second trimester, during which I'm supposed to start feeling more energetic and during which the exciting things happen- feeling the baby move, baby starts being able to hear us, finding out the baby's sex...
This week, I'm finishing up Week 13.  Fingerprints have formed on baby's tiny fingertips, veins and organs are clearly visible through still-thin skin, and baby's body is starting to catch up with the head — which makes up just a third of the body size now. If it's a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries (CRAZY, right!). Baby is almost 3 inches long and weighs nearly an ounce.

I doubt it's obvious to anyone else but to me (and Matt), I'm starting to "show" just a little, though it looks more like a little beer belly. I just keep telling myself that it's surely baby belly since my OB said I hadn't yet gained any weight. I just know it's hard to suck it in now.

This plastic baby is actually a bit smaller than our baby is now. It's a 11-12 week model that Matt was very excited to get at this pro-life booth at the state fair. I don't think they were very excited for us because Matt wasn't interested in joining their cause or taking any literature (though that was offered at least 3x), just a plastic baby. I resisted the urge to make off-color jokes like "well, I guess this baby is pretty cute... maybe I will cancel that little appointment for next week." Anyhow.

Labor Day weekend, we tried to get out and do some things. I'm still exhausted every other day so Saturday, I had to lie low, except that we had a wedding to attend in the evening, my college buddy Brandon. It was a sweet ceremony; they seem very much in love, and all of the groomsmen were our other college buds. I think it's sweet how long they've all been friends and it was nice to see those guys. They were my guys and although they were mainly my party buds, they did somewhat look out for me and I'm glad I reconnected with them a few years ago. Oh, and I rocked my dress in a whole new way ;)

Ohh AND I took first place in our college football pickem league for Week 1. I know! And the menfolk probably thought it was just dumb luck last year. Nope.

So luckily the next day, I felt pretty good because we went to the State Fair! When Matt and I were first dating in 2010, we went to the fair and had a dandy time. It was fun to relive a few of those memories, but now more open with being in love :)

We drove over with my parents and that was really fun. We had to go off on our own a few times since Matt's way of looking at things like the photography display is to walk as quickly as possible past (perhaps to make it seem like motion pictures); irritating. I mean, some things like the cake displays could've been a lot better, especially if you could taste them, but that's part of the joy and misery of the state fair with my parents- getting to see things like the canned good awards. Kinda interesting, kinda awful ;) Well, at least as a kid in tow it was. Now, I wouldn't have minded spending more time looking at the crafts, etc.

But... check out how cute these ducklings are!! I want 10!

The whole reason I wanted to go to the fair- hand-dipped corndogs. Yes, they are THAT good. I'm not really supposed to eat hot dogs but I made an exception.

Btw, look at the 2010 pics- doesn't this look like the EXACT same shirt on Matt?! It's not. Scary enough, he has a lot of shirts that are nearly identical. Cute, but nearly identical.

So, here's something not awesome so far about being pregnant- I've been eating fairly healthy foods, being really conscious of that. But I figured this one day, I'd let myself splurge a little. Except I get full REALLY quickly. So the whole day there, I only got to enjoy 1 corndog, 1 ice cream bar, and part of a plate of Hawaiian chicken on rice, and part of a fruit smoothie. I was planning on corn on the cob and pie and all kinds of other wonderful fair foods. But I just couldn't fit them. Has my stomach shrunk?

I dunno what it is about this pig but it seems to be Matt's highlight.

This was from 2010 but look at the grin on his face!

Everyone's other favorite part, unanimously, was the dog jumping contest. So cute. Of course, after we'd gotten separated and our cell phones weren't working well, Mom texted me that they were at dog joking. Took me awhile to figure that out. Watch this dog jump 22.8 feet (he was the leader when we left, just before the finals). A-mazing.

Which reminds me... we need to start amping up on Ellie's training for the Oktoberfest wiener dog races.

The only thing I missed doing was the chairlift. We did it in 2010, tres romantique.

Matt bought me a souvenir hat :)

 

We all had a fine time, well worth the drive. And look how cute my parents are!

So naturally, the next day, I was exhausted so thankfully we had the day off. I was pretty emotional about quite a few things. Bleh. Not much else to speak of the rest of the week. Mom and I have been walking a lot, which helps because most mornings I wake up really stiff in the hips/lower back. 

Ugh, this week I did go through my closet though and tried on a bunch of clothes that don't fit now. I keep telling myself it's cause of this pregnancy but it's still a bit discouraging when I can't even pull my jeans up past mid-thigh. Seriously, am I putting on weight in my thighs and butt?? I can tell that my hips are getting wider; Matt bought me two cute dresses from one of his customers, thinking that they would stretch (no, they're linen) and one is so unbelievably tight in the hips and the other in the top; those have never been problems before. So I put all my "post-baby" clothes into a different container; it helps to go to my closet and actually be able to find the things that do fit without picking through. On Friday, I went through wearing three skirts (luckily I work from home so I can change) because this cute skirt that fit me like 2 weeks ago now only fits when I'm standing but as soon as I sat down to work, I felt like someone had rubberbands strapped as tightly as possible around my stomach and I started to feel nauseous. Then the next skirt was okay for awhile then suddenly unbearably uncomfortable. Luckily the third one was elastic-waisted. I'm down to one pair of jeans, one pair of shorts, and one bra (and several skirts that thankfully my mom put elastic waists in a few weeks ago). So... I may have to start buying a few maternity items when it gets colder, which is anytime now.

This weekend we harvested most of our garden, anticipating colder nights ahead. We got a few red potatoes (we planted these way too late and in too shallow of a pot), lots of radishes (seriously Matt, what are we going to do with so many), a few more carrots (this was our 2nd harvest) and a lot of basil and chives. We just picked a few tiny tomatoes too. We have some squash, and cucumbers we think, that have blossoms but we're not sure if we'll get anything ripe in time. Next week we'll start sooner; we learned a lot.

I made Matt's fav taco soup for dinner so now it really feels like fall. Yeh, it's worth sharing the recipe here: 1lb browned ground beef, 1 can black beans (undrained), 1 can kidney beans (undrained), 1 can red beans (undrained), 1 can corn (undrained) or you could use fresh or frozen corn, 1 can diced tomatoes, 1 pkg taco seasoning and 1 pkg dry ranch dressing mix. It's like a non-spicy chili. I try to buy all low sodium items. Matt serves it with Fritos (which sounds gross, but it's actually amazing) and a little grated cheese.

Tomorrow, officially second trimester! Time is sorta flying.

To the Father of our Unborn Child

Dear Matt,

I hope I say enough how incredibly blessed I am to be your wife and to now be the mother of your child. Your name Mathew means "gift of God," and you have absolutely been that to me. You really are the man I always hoped I'd meet and marry and have a family with, even when I was a little girl not fully knowing what I'd want in a man someday. But it was you I've always wanted.

From the first day, I could see your compassion, your tenderness, your caring nature, your strength, and your patience. Now, being pregnant, I see that to an even greater depth as you help me along in this growth; I feel so grateful to have you as my partner and I don't know what more I could ask for.

I know a few times lately I've been snippy or impatient or moody; I'm just going to blame the hormones here (easy way out, right). Yet you take me as I am, with so much love and acceptance that sometimes it shocks me. I want to apologize to you for not being able to control my hormonal emotions as well, but more so I just want to thank you for just letting me be who I am (seemingly without judgement and) without reproach. I've always felt like I could just say whatever I truly felt, do whatever I truly felt, and be who I am without fearing that you'd judge me or reject me or turn away.

This was my favorite reading from our wedding because it feels so true of my feelings for you:

I love you, not only for what you are, 
but for what I am when I am with you. 
I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself, 
but for what you are making of me. 
I love you, for the part of me that you bring out.

There are obviously so many things I love about you and who you are and your little quirks and the things I find so adorable. On a more self-centered note, one of the things I love most about you is who you make me. I saw what I thought was a very lame romantic-comedy ("This Means War"), in which the leading lady was torn between her feelings for two guys; her friend advised "choose the man who makes you a better woman." I actually thought that was fabulous advice, ya know, to come from a rom-com. More than anyone before you, you do make me a better me. You make me feel so beautiful, loved, sexy, appreciated, funny, intelligent, valued and cherished, every day, through your kind words to me, through your caring actions, through the way you go out into the world so bravely to provide for us, and come home after a long day and help with dinner and make me laugh.

I love you, for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart, 
and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can’t help dimly seeing there, 
and for drawing out, into the light, all the beautiful belongings 
that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.

You make me act more in the ways of my best self. You inspire me to be more of that person that I see idealistically in my inner eye as being the best me possible. Yes, I still act out of pettiness sometimes; I'm not perfect. But even as you accept me, I appreciate how you remind me of my best intentions, of my best possible actions, of what my heart really honestly advises. It irritates, humbles and impresses me when you give me such kind advice to listen to my heart and act in the most loving way in a situation. You are my better half :)

I love you, because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life, 
not a tavern, but a temple. 
Out of the works of my every day, not a reproach, but a song.

I often think of this line about helping me make, of the lumber of my life, a temple. It invokes such a beautiful concept of you helping me piece things together to create such a wonderful place, like our little home that you and I, and you and I together, have put so much sweat into making so cozy and home-y. I look around our home and our life together and feel so grateful, like I've been given everything I truly wanted, including getting to bring a child to share in this beautiful life we've created together.

I love you, because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good, 
and more than any fate could have done to make me happy. 
You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign. 
You have done it by being yourself. 
Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all.

I'm so excited to see you and know you as the father to our child. I can't wait to see the look on your face when our baby arrives. I can't wait to watch how adorable you'll be feeding baby, and bathing baby... You are such a great caregiver to the pets, so patient with potty outings in the middle of the night, and so sweet with all the belly rubs and kisses you give out. I'm excited for you to teach our child how to play basketball, to appreciate WWE, to make the best pancakes, to make camping special, and mostly, to be an amazing person in the world. You are the best role model I could imagine for our child, and you'll show our son how to be a wonderful man in how he treats women and treats others, or you'll show our daughter the way a man should treat her and others and how she should treat others. I'm excited to show our child the love that you and I share and how supportive and nurturing it can be.

Thank you for making everyday special. Thank you for being so involved in our pregnancy. Thank you for all the ways you look out for me and care for me. Thank you for all the ways you cherish me. Thank you for creating with me this wonderful gift of our child.

All my love always (all ways),

Your wifey Gretchen