I'm so thankful we're to this point; I keep hearing that three months is a turning point!
This week, he did sleep through the night for the first time- 10:30p-7a. He didn't even slightly wake up! It was the second night in his own crib in his own room. We'd been sleeping so poorly the last two weeks; I think he was going through a growth spurt. He wanted to eat every 1.5 hrs and was sucking down an extra 1-2oz of formula after we nursed. I was only getting 1.5-2 hrs of sleep at a time, with then 30-60 mins of nursing/rocking. Oh and he didn't nap well, like 30 mins at a time. I figured moving him to his own room couldn't be worse. If only that night Matt hadn't woken me up when the monitor ran out of charge. As soon as I wake up at night, I either have to nurse or pump because I'm so uncomfortable. Then sometimes I can't get back to sleep. However, since that awesome night, he's only done 2-3 hr stretches of sleep. Sometimes he seems to be hungry but only nurse half and falls asleep, only to wake again after 20 mins. Sometimes I try giving him the pacifier, to see if he's actually hungry and awake; half the time he falls back asleep (but I hope that's not establishing a bad habit of needing the paci to fall back asleep). And seriously HOW do we get him to sleep before 10p??? Anyhow...
Work is tough. I don't know how moms do it well. I'm so grateful to work from home yet I'm realizing how hard it is to be focused and try to care for Carsen. I've been trying to be back to 30hrs and it's rough. The only thing that's helped is working from my parents' house so my mom can watch him. Whenever Matt & I talk about additional childcare, I cry. I never thought I'd want to be a stay home mom; I don't, I want to be a part time working mom. But that's just not feasible for us right now. Yet it's tough because I think whomever is watching our most precious one should be probably paid well. But if we paid someone min. wage to watch him, one of us will nearly be working just to pay for care. One nanny service we looked at charges $12/hr! We might have some arrangements that could work for a bit, while I can still work reduced hours. And we may sell our car and see if we can get by with just one to help too.
He is getting so much more interactive! He smiles. He sometimes mimics. His legs and neck are getting so strong! He also is now too big for all his newborn size clothes. One day something was tight and I swear that two days later it didn't fit at all!
I am totally hopelessly in love with Carsen. It's like any time I've fallen in love when in the beginning, I want nothing than to be with my love, even when I'm feeling like I need space, and then I think of my love the whole time I'm apart, the slightly obsessive but kinda wonderful but kinda awful in love. Ohh and I cry at any commercial or story about kids growing up; there's a cell phone commercial about a boy growing up and video calling his mom from his first apartment; no joke, I cried. I just want to kiss his cheeks 1000x a day and hug him and hold him. Matt is adorable with him; makes me love him more too. Parenthood is wonderful yet so tiring and stressful at the same time.
