So, to follow up on the cloud mobile I started last week... I finished it! I got the inspiration from something on Etsy but I wasn't willing to pay for it. Plus, surely I can make that myself.
I had plenty of extra fabric from the baby quilt to make the hearts. I even made one heart out of a shirt of Matt's that had too many holes to repair. I did a blanket stitch around the edges and stuffed them. I hung the hearts from clear plastic line with some crystal hearts that I'm hoping will be sparkly and reflective. This was the last craft project I was planning for the nursery. I hung it above the crib even though I read that he won't be able to see the mobile for quite a few weeks after birth.
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| I used to be able to button this... |
I've been having several dreams about our baby Carsen this week. First I dreamed just about carrying him around, maybe around 2 months old. He was so cute in my dream and I just kept kissing him and loving on him. Thursday night, I dreamed we had just brought him home from the hospital (though I couldn't remember giving birth). He was so sweet and little. Of course, in my dream, I was sitting down to breastfeed him (been reading a book about breastfeeding) in his room and looked down and he was suddenly a porcelain doll, and the neighbors were watching. Not good. But later he became a real baby again; his eyes were very blue (which I've read that most caucasian babies are born with blue eyes and can have blue eyes for a few weeks/months until their true color develops) and I thought his eyes looked like my brother's. The strange part about dreaming about him is that when I wake up, I feel positive but I also have a feeling of missing him. Just like after seeing his ultrasound, I missed him afterward. Interestingly, Matt also dreamed about him Thursday night; Matt came out of the hospital room into a lobby where all our family and friends were gathered, held him up above his head and shouted "Here he is!!" Cute.
It was a beautiful week and warmed up to 50', though on our sheltered deck, it felt 10' warmer. Practically bikini weather. I enjoyed an ice cream sandwich in the sun. So nice!
I will say this about being pregnant... I know everyone's experience is different. I remember reading a friend's blog when she was pregnant and she mentioned that she felt very beautiful and sexy and feminine in her pregnant body. I remember that my colleague Elizabeth had told me she had really enjoyed being pregnant. And other people have high libido. Of course, other people also have more complications and pain and issues than some daily heartburn that is mostly treatable with Tums (and my hips and upper part of my abdomen get sore). But I'd say, while I am extremely grateful for this experience, and I hope to experience it once more after this, ... pregnancy for me has been a bit uncomfortable. Amazing, surprising... but I wouldn't say I've "enjoyed" it. I also, even when I know it's the baby, just feel so fat and big. And I'm supposed to get bigger?! It's cool in a way, it's novel to look in the mirror and see such a different body, but it's also super weird. And I struggle with feeling really chubby... probably should've laid off that ice cream sandwich then ;)
But also, while I'm starting to get very excited to meet our son and move on to the next interesting, weird experiences involved in caring for a newborn, I do have a sense that I will miss getting to feel him moving inside me. Even when he kicks/shifts aggressively. Honestly a few times this week, I almost said aloud "hey buddy, be gentle! You can't bust out." I just realized that, right now, I get to carry him everywhere, have him with me in a way I never will again, even though it's a one-sided interaction. Well... sometimes if I rub bumps that seem like they might be his head or his but, he'll respond by moving, but not sure if I can count that as him communicating with him.
On Saturday was my first baby shower. My dear friend Jenn flew in from Colorado to throw a wonderful shower with her mom. I'm so honored to have such a generous and thoughtful friend. I'm so honored to have such great friends who attended too! Wish I'd have taken some pics... hopefully someone will send some along. :)
One of my favorite parts was writing some wishes we had for baby. How cute is the paper! That Jenn :) I'll share the one I filled out (trying to be a little humorous but a little serious too)...
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Matt decided to fill one out too :)
